Intro

I am Idadi (Totality), known commonly to most as AngelaMichelle (Angelic Messenger), and I welcome you to accompany me on my Journey Back to Me.

Who am I? To put it plainly, I am a 30-something writer, a mother, a full time student and a Neo-Pagan Witch originally from Detroit, Michigan, now residing for a time in Toledo, Ohio, and headed towards Silver Spring, Maryland in the fall. In addition to all that, I am also a woman on the path to discovering her roots… literally. Yes… I AM a “nappy headed” sistah who made her transition a year ago, and wanted to share in the experience and celebration of the decision here in Cyberspace.

Since I didn’t think to chronicle my journal from the first step, I will use this intro to play catch-up.

At the advice of my wonderiffic Penzi, I decided to start the process of transitioning from a relaxer to my natural hair in April 2007, having relaxed my hair for the last time on April 26 of that year. It was not an easy decision to come to, as most who has gone through the process can attest. First I had to break through the mental preconceptions of just what going natural would mean. Brillo pad like tresses that neither bounced nor behaved. Odd stares when in public cause my hair wasn’t society beauty standard straight. Being thought to be lower class cause I didn’t posses hair that flowed in the breeze or cascade down my shoulders like the media models. These of course were inbred thoughts, gained from outside reactions I’ve witnessed over the years. In short, I was afeared of my own misconceptions about natural hair, so I covered myself in the “straight is beautiful” blanket and did as the “Roman” majority did.

After well over twenty years of frying my follicles to the point of lifelessness in order to be considered beautiful, and witnessing year after year of breakage, loss, and stunted growth, I got over the mind fuck laid on women of colour and decided enough was enough. I had the major component needed to make the first step, support and understanding, the rest would come with time and determination.

The Process:

To start, I joined and lurked around the black hair care sites like Motowngirl.com. I was still in what I call the middle passage stages of accepting my choice, so I stayed quiet and simply absorbed the vibe and educated myself. Of course my first concern was the transition method I’d use as it grew out, so I took stock of my options. Penzi suggested sisterlocks as a way to make the process a bit easier, but I wasn’t too sure about having to cut my hair or spend hours picking the locks out when I wanted to change styles. And I really wasn’t too keen on the whole BC option; the whole “hair defines femininity” thing is very hard to shake for me. So in the end, to try to keep my length, I opted to transition by clipping the permed ends off every few weeks and praying I’d be able to handle it properly enough to prevent major breakage. I ended up doing a mini-BC in July 2007, taking my hair from ~ 10 - 12 inches from root to tip, to ~ 5 - 7 inches, because I grew frustrated with the constantly frizzled ends. I’ve had my hair a whole lot shorter in my lifetime, so it really wasn’t that big of a shock. *lol*

The Upkeep:

Next concern was choosing a low-maintenance style that would best help facilitate growth. Since I can’t braid to save my life that option was out, and since I put the PO in poet, I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to afford a competent braider. I tried a straw set based on a Youtube tutorial, but got frustrated with the slipping rods. After the last cut my hair was too short for one ponytail, and I didn’t want the hassle of being carded every time I went to the store if I wore two. *lol* So, since I knew keeping my hands out of my hair was best my best bet, for the majority of the first year I just kept it well oiled, well conditioned and covered with a bun wrap whenever I had to leave the house. I tried to minimize heat usage as much as I could, opting to pig tail and air dry whenever I washed, but occasionally I would let the blow dryer on low heat do the work for me.

The Maintenance:

After cruising through this list of hair care products to avoid, I went through my home product line up and started placing things in “the round file”. I started out using Garnier’s Fruictis shampoo and conditioner for dry and damaged hair, with Africa’s Best Herbal Oil for moisture. After a few months of that, I began to balance commercial products with home resources like white vinegar rinses, brown sugar and honey based scrubs, lemon juice clarifiers, and olive oil — leaning more towards the natural products than the commerical. I’d alternate shampooing with clarifying as to not strip my hair’s own oils, and still tried to keep my hands out of it as much as I could. With more new growth than relaxed hair, I let go of the blow dryer and flat irons completely during the winter, and kept up with the wraps.

This is the length I started with in April 2007:

Which got cut down to this in June 2007:

By the fall of 2007, my “kitchen” was ~ 2 - 3 inches long, and I could sweep my hair up into a single ponytail:

A few more snips to rid myself of the last relaxed ends and now, almost a year from the unsure start, this is what I’ve been blessed with in May 2008:

I’d previously bought into the myth that kinky/coiled hair does not grow as fast as straight hair, but here I am, thirteen months after the first cut with almost the same length as when I first started this journey! I was also amazed at the fact that despite the fallacies I’d adopted earlier on in life about my hair, there were no Brillo results, my hair is very, very manageable, and far more beautiful than it ever was when it was relaxed! Of course it has taken me some time to gain the confidence to leave the house with it unwrapped, but now that I have kicked that fear to the curb my swagger is indeed as fierce as my hair. *lol*

So those were my humble beginnings. In all honesty, contrary to accounts I’ve read, the entire process has not been all the difficult or harrowing. I can credit that to the fact that I was blessed enough to be a SAHM, so I could let my hair grow willy nilly in semi-seclusion. But that was then, and this is now. Since my initial steps I have changed circumstances and will have to very soon work my natural mojo on the social scene, so I started this eJournal to mark each of my steps from here on out, as well as network with and help educate others going through the process too.

So I guess I should get the show on the road, eh? Well welcome to my journey, and I pray you enjoy the show.

Blessed Be…

Idadi