Happy to be Nappy?

i was on the phone with my mother a couple of weeks ago, and she was explaining to me how “horribly” her first attempt at two strand twists turned out. She said, and I’m paraphrasing here, they made her look like “Buckwheat on crack.” She laughed, and I giggled, remembering my initial reaction to my first twists. Of course, my mother’s hair is a whole lot finer than mine, and I’m not quite sure what product she used to set the twists, but I can imagine the results quite vividly. I’m sure they looked just fine, but sight unseen, I can’t say that with any amount of authority.

Suni, a friend of mine also going through the journey from chemically processed to natural, expressed the same sentiment after her first try at twists. Since her hair is a mish-mash of cultural textures, and she didn’t think to take pictures (BAH!), I can’t say one way or the other whether her attempt was a pass or “fail”, but like with my mother, I am sure they looked just fine to the outside eye.

More than anything, it’s the personal perception of natural “do’s” that constitutes a person’s rating of how good they look. Actually, that’s only half true. Most of our qualms about natural hair styles are based on how others will think we look, in the face of society’s “straight” beauty standard. While natural black hair is becoming all the rage in certain sects (maaaaaaaan I can not WAIT to get to DC), it’s still a relatively new and controversial personal concept to grasp. It’s one thing to be openly natural at home, with family members who understand what you’re trying to accomplish and why. But to be natural in the streets… open to all the misconceptions, negative opinions, and criticisms… Let’s just say my wraps are like an American Express card for me. I never leave home without them!

So is this to say we “newbies” live in shame of our nappiness? That we dishonour our natural attributes by not sharing our tressed our styles with the world at large? Do we so prize our vanity boosted by other’s perceptions over being prideful in who we really are from root to tip? I don’t think so. But this journey is such a personal one, and the slope can be a slippery one to climb at times, since self esteem is so closely linked with how we look in the eyes of others (kinda bass ackward, but it is what it is). Often times we have expectations of our hair based on the beautiful stylist result pictures we see in media such as this…

or this

or these…

That’s a lot of pressure for hair to live up to when all you have is inexperience and your own two hands, eh?

But all is not lost, my natural sistahs (and brothers, if any of you read this). As I’ve said before, this process takes practice and patience. Remember, you are relearning your hair… getting to know it as it is for quite possibly the first time in years! And like any growing relationship, there is going to be an awkward phase where those “undesirable” qualities show themselves, and you are faced with the decision to accept and deal, or chuck and run. No where is this more evident than when trying a new style out for size, since it changes your appearance in such a drastic manner.

With the right amount of time invested and knowledge of your hair gained, you’ll find your confidence building, and your view of how different styles look on you will gradually change. One day, without even realizing it, you might find yourself stepping out with some Bantu knots or a funky looking Erykah-esque fro, sporting a 100% Nappy Tee, oblivious to the stares.

I’m awaiting the day!

Blessed Be…

Idadi