I Am Too My Hair!

You know when India’s song came out every sistah was rocking it, bobbing their heads back and forth to affirm that not matter what they choose to do with the mass of protein that sprouts from their scalps, they refused to be defined by it. I was one of those sistahs, even as I was frying my strands to oblivion with my Motion’s super strength relaxers. *lol* I liked the idea of telling people where to get off if they thought they could make me conform to what they thought I should do with my hair, or those who misappropriated their ideas of me because I wouldn’t. Of course I was still conforming by perming my hair, but even with that, I rocked the styles I wanted, or sometimes opted for no style at all. My hair was not the whole of me, and anyone who thought different could stuff it. *lol* But one night, during a poetry telecipher known as The Session (big ups to Max and the rest of the NWO gang), I heard a fellow word smith recite a poem called “I Am My Hair” and it got me to thinking personal the concept of hair can be.

The gist of the poem was about how the reciter was Native American, and how hair for them told the story of wear they’d be. Like the rings of a tree, each inch spoke of trials and triumphs; loves lost and battles won. Of children born and ancestors passed. It was such a touching tribute to heritage, and the author of the poem spit it with such convicting venom. The entire experience put a whole new spin on the hair game, which was the start of me taking the natural journey a whole lot more seriously… even though it took a good six months or so before I ventured out onto it.

The natural journey is a dithyrambic and personal one, and can become very absorbing once you begin to focus your efforts. It’s not merely about hair, its about a coming back to who you truly are; about relearning what you believe and reconstructing those parts that don’t align with your authentic self. When that first span of new growth rears it’s ugly head, it tests your strength, your determination, and your faith in yourself to carry through. All of those bad hair demons which found a home in your psyche come out to play, and you’re forced to deal with (and break down) more misapprehensions than you thought you could hold. Each inch of new growth tests your restraint, because it takes a very strong will not to go running to your nearest beauty supply store and literally throwing money at the clerk for some conking cream. The natural hair journey is possibly months of facing yourself in a mirror (or totally avoiding them altogether) and dealing with the fact that you do not fit into the standard of beauty as set by modern society. And that assessment doesn’t just stop at your hair… it begins to pick apart any and every “imperfection” you feel you have! Yes, this process definitely shows you what you’re made of from very early on.

Before I started to grow my hair out, natural sistahs used to intimidate the hell out of me. They carried with them such an air of “arrogance”, it was almost stifling and definitely made me feel self conscious. Not just about relaxing my hair, but about the type of person I was, my life directions and such. What I didn’t understand back then was the that arrogance was earned and very well deserved. You see, every kinky step along the path to naptural that is wrought with struggle is a testament to just how strong you really are. Just like in the poem, every inch of your curly, wavy or coiled new growth tells your personal story of breaking chains and emerging the victor over paradigms that no longer fit into your mind frame. So yes, that pride you feel vibing off a natural sistah, or see displayed in her every action, is merited. Because they have put in time on the front line warring against being pushed into a little box which limited their beauty, and have come to a place now where their hair no longer defines them. It becomes the expression of who they know they were meant to be, as it was meant to be.

So I say it proudly, and with all the naturally arrogant attitude I can muster: I AM TOO MY HAIR! Because my hair speaks deeper than just about how I look. It exclaims to the masses in a booming voice, exactly who I AM.

Dedicated to A New Lis, and all my other sistahs (and brothers) starting on or considering taking this journey.

Blessed Be…

Idadi